Making plans for a return admission to MD Anderson
The doctors office called and set me up for an admission today. Since I am a stem cell transplant recipient, I need to be seen on that unit. This unit handles all transplants, chemo and post procedures. It is limited on space and there is not room at the inn for me today. They could get me in sometime tomorrow but the procedure is only done during the week so I would be in limbo until Monday. They rescheduled so that I am on call as of nine am on Monday.
My doctor is concerned about my liver and has scheduled a biopsy. Sugar levels have increased to diabetic levels and that will be checked as well. Chances are the steroids are raising those levels. The unspoken scare is the threat of graft versus host disease, this is worse case scenario. Just when you think you are out "they pull you back in."
It has now been six months since my transplant so if there are going to be complications this is when they appear. Hopefully it is all the work of an overactive imagination and lack of a good nights sleep, but I have to wonder. Ponder really, what have I done with those 180 days, half of which were spent in the hospital or daily outpatient visits.
It seems as though I have just been existing. I can not work and take daily naps, I have given up hope on a social life because my personal life is in such disarray. The drugs have played some effect mentally, but now I have noticed physical signs. The color of my skin has darkened without being in the sun. I have a mild case of acne that I have not seen since I wore parachute pants with a Members Only jacket.
There are days when I am driving and wearing boots that I feel I should be on a jobsite, producing. This cancer, this nightmare has turned me into a medication nightmare. New ones are added while some are put on hold, but I keep following orders to the disagreement of my insides. My family continues to support me even though I keep them at a distance.
Next month I have a birthday. The day before I will be hosting a blood drive at the Gabby's on Telephone Road. I am asking for donors to take time out to come and donate, it will give me the opportunity to see some old friends and family that I have missed over the months. Please take the time to sign up.
My daugher is developing into a young woman with a life of her own. The struggle to help her while my hands are tied tug at my heart. She should not have to worry about me. I should be able to support her, neither of which are happening as planned. The roller coaster ride that has become my life is no longer filled with peaks, it is as if each valley is followed by one that plunges me even deeper. With no end in site, it continues to taunt me with good days. Making me believe I am normal. On days my outward appearance is such, but it may be due to the pain killers and anxiety meds.
As I sit here and look towards my future the season premiere of "Greys Anatomy" is airing. I would change the channel or better yet, throw the remote at the screen. I don't have the fight to do either. There has been enough medical drama in my life to last several lifetimes and I do not need to see more on television. They are broaching the subject of organ donorship, this has been asked of me but I do not know if there will be anything of value when this ride ends.
My doctor is concerned about my liver and has scheduled a biopsy. Sugar levels have increased to diabetic levels and that will be checked as well. Chances are the steroids are raising those levels. The unspoken scare is the threat of graft versus host disease, this is worse case scenario. Just when you think you are out "they pull you back in."
It has now been six months since my transplant so if there are going to be complications this is when they appear. Hopefully it is all the work of an overactive imagination and lack of a good nights sleep, but I have to wonder. Ponder really, what have I done with those 180 days, half of which were spent in the hospital or daily outpatient visits.
It seems as though I have just been existing. I can not work and take daily naps, I have given up hope on a social life because my personal life is in such disarray. The drugs have played some effect mentally, but now I have noticed physical signs. The color of my skin has darkened without being in the sun. I have a mild case of acne that I have not seen since I wore parachute pants with a Members Only jacket.
There are days when I am driving and wearing boots that I feel I should be on a jobsite, producing. This cancer, this nightmare has turned me into a medication nightmare. New ones are added while some are put on hold, but I keep following orders to the disagreement of my insides. My family continues to support me even though I keep them at a distance.
Next month I have a birthday. The day before I will be hosting a blood drive at the Gabby's on Telephone Road. I am asking for donors to take time out to come and donate, it will give me the opportunity to see some old friends and family that I have missed over the months. Please take the time to sign up.
My daugher is developing into a young woman with a life of her own. The struggle to help her while my hands are tied tug at my heart. She should not have to worry about me. I should be able to support her, neither of which are happening as planned. The roller coaster ride that has become my life is no longer filled with peaks, it is as if each valley is followed by one that plunges me even deeper. With no end in site, it continues to taunt me with good days. Making me believe I am normal. On days my outward appearance is such, but it may be due to the pain killers and anxiety meds.
As I sit here and look towards my future the season premiere of "Greys Anatomy" is airing. I would change the channel or better yet, throw the remote at the screen. I don't have the fight to do either. There has been enough medical drama in my life to last several lifetimes and I do not need to see more on television. They are broaching the subject of organ donorship, this has been asked of me but I do not know if there will be anything of value when this ride ends.
Hey Roger,
Wow, your world has been flipped upside down. I think what you are doing for the community is great! Elva Lisa seems to be a grown up lady with goals and ambition, you have directed her in a great way. I hope that all of your community service will not go unacknowledged and appreciated. I'm sure your cocktails aren't as good as Bud Light and BBQ, but in the end, I pray that your hard work and effort to survive will be rewarded with new friendships, grand children and most of all an old age for you. I love you and hope that the hospital knows they have an ass kicker for a patient. -Crystal
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Roger you're doing a lot. You've been recovering these past 6 months. Though I haven't been through it myself I saw Tami 2 months post transplant and I can say that recovering is a full time job. For someone who is active and motivated working hard is easy compared to taking it easy. But that's what your body needs right now.
I hope your liver is ok. I know both times Tami has been on Prednisone for her GVHD it's thrown her sugars out of whack making her temporarily diabetic. She's needed insulin both times she's been on it
Hang in there Roger. We'll be blasting your blood drive on Tami's blog and my blog for you.
*Hugs*
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