Astros, Shane Battier, Luis Scola, Chris & TBone
It is hard being a hermit. How can I go to Galveston with my cousin when I can not get wet? Add to that I have to run to the restroom a couple times an hour. I am on the down hill portion of my treatment but it is harder than the first half. I have more medications to take that are throwing my body out of whack. I sit on the toilet for half an hour with nothing happening. I feel like I ate the worm at the bottle of a gallon of Mezcal. My mind is ok. I think. It is 3 in the morning and I am typing to the public. I miss my family it has been a week since I have spoken with them. My attitude sucks I am an ass and feel like puking more than I feel like talking. How can I speak with my daughter or the sister that saved my life when I am afraid I might sh*t on myself?
So today I flew solo. Went to the Astros game, got my cap. Met up with Chris & TBone. After all these years I still do not know what either of these two guys do for a living. They are like Tommy from the old "Martin" sitcom. We lost the game and I made my regular trip to Northside. Vara's is a sports bar on I-45 and Calvalcade. I have been to the Islands, LA, San Diego, Florida, 6th Street in Austin and I always go back to this place. It is where I feel most comfortable. The owner is a man named Limon that has helped me and many others in time of unexepected emergencies.
I left there to go to another place. NOTE to medical staff, I am drinking bottled Ozarka. It was in Midtown. My daughter has a digital pocket camera and takes all kinds of pictures, I wish I had one tonight. This is who I ran into....
This is what happens when you have to use someone elses camera. Shane Battier & Luis Scola were there. I shook their hand and took better pictures. For one night these superstars of the NBA were regular guys having a good time. For one night I was normal, looking out for my cousin and TBone.
The doctors say I have 40 days with the catheter in my chest. If my family still accepts me I hope to do something the day they take it out. I know I have alienated them, but I do not see no other way. I have or had cancer but I am still a man and have my pride. I have been to my restroom 5 times since I started typing this. That is not manly. Add to that, in 2 hours I hook 2 bags of medicine to my chest so that I do not go into a seizure. I have tubes where no one should have them.
So forgive me for being an ass, but my phone is still in the glove compartment.
Bad News Alert***
My biopsy results came back and they are inconclusive. There is still Myelofibrosis in me. Cancer is still there. We do not know if it is residue from the cancer that was killed or if it never died. I have another test in the next few weeks. So that is why I cry myself to sleep at night. Alone. I do not know if I can go through another round of this stuff. Just the fact that I have to take another needle up the butt bone is enough to make me squirm. My counts look good, I need to drink more water or Gatorade. Thats for my physical health. My mental health is a puzzle at this time. I would rather type on my kepyboard than talk.
As I type I am looking at a picture of Elle & Tutu. If you do not know who they are you must purchase a copy of my manuscript. They are my lifeblood, even though my daughter is as strong willed and stubborn as I am, I love her. I just wish she was 1 again. She did not talk but loved me because I could give give her formula. Once she could talk, she turned 21 and is my pride and joy but has the characteristics of her Mama.
I have to go to Kroger because I ran out of toilet paper. A few sites and publications have requested permission to use my site for references and quotes, I have gave them unlimited access. I am raw, no need to sugarcoat anything. Cancer is not the Garden Society, it sucks.
Love you Mom
So today I flew solo. Went to the Astros game, got my cap. Met up with Chris & TBone. After all these years I still do not know what either of these two guys do for a living. They are like Tommy from the old "Martin" sitcom. We lost the game and I made my regular trip to Northside. Vara's is a sports bar on I-45 and Calvalcade. I have been to the Islands, LA, San Diego, Florida, 6th Street in Austin and I always go back to this place. It is where I feel most comfortable. The owner is a man named Limon that has helped me and many others in time of unexepected emergencies.
I left there to go to another place. NOTE to medical staff, I am drinking bottled Ozarka. It was in Midtown. My daughter has a digital pocket camera and takes all kinds of pictures, I wish I had one tonight. This is who I ran into....
This is what happens when you have to use someone elses camera. Shane Battier & Luis Scola were there. I shook their hand and took better pictures. For one night these superstars of the NBA were regular guys having a good time. For one night I was normal, looking out for my cousin and TBone.
The doctors say I have 40 days with the catheter in my chest. If my family still accepts me I hope to do something the day they take it out. I know I have alienated them, but I do not see no other way. I have or had cancer but I am still a man and have my pride. I have been to my restroom 5 times since I started typing this. That is not manly. Add to that, in 2 hours I hook 2 bags of medicine to my chest so that I do not go into a seizure. I have tubes where no one should have them.
So forgive me for being an ass, but my phone is still in the glove compartment.
Bad News Alert***
My biopsy results came back and they are inconclusive. There is still Myelofibrosis in me. Cancer is still there. We do not know if it is residue from the cancer that was killed or if it never died. I have another test in the next few weeks. So that is why I cry myself to sleep at night. Alone. I do not know if I can go through another round of this stuff. Just the fact that I have to take another needle up the butt bone is enough to make me squirm. My counts look good, I need to drink more water or Gatorade. Thats for my physical health. My mental health is a puzzle at this time. I would rather type on my kepyboard than talk.
As I type I am looking at a picture of Elle & Tutu. If you do not know who they are you must purchase a copy of my manuscript. They are my lifeblood, even though my daughter is as strong willed and stubborn as I am, I love her. I just wish she was 1 again. She did not talk but loved me because I could give give her formula. Once she could talk, she turned 21 and is my pride and joy but has the characteristics of her Mama.
I have to go to Kroger because I ran out of toilet paper. A few sites and publications have requested permission to use my site for references and quotes, I have gave them unlimited access. I am raw, no need to sugarcoat anything. Cancer is not the Garden Society, it sucks.
Love you Mom
Hi Roger,
I feel for you...this cancer stuff really does suck..It has been almost 10 months since my transplant and I still feel like an outsider...I just pray things will be better soon. By the way, did you get my money order for a manuscript & bracelets...I sent it out earlier this week.
Vicki
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Take your time Roger. I will be here when you're ready to reconnect. Praying for you that the next test will show the last biopsy had shown residual cells.
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